Just a wee little vent
>> January 17, 2009
So I had a lovely person email yesterday and we chatted back and forth about homeschooling. She posted on her blog about the fact that she is struggling with this decision and doesn't know what would be best for her family. Totally understandable. But why is it that when she posts this she gets people telling her all about the social aspect of homeschooling. How the homeschooled kids they know are socially stunted! Of course this is an argument I hear again and again and again. I mean seriously. To those of you who do not homeschool your kids, how many homeschooling families do you even know? Before I decided to homeschool I had never met a homeschooling family. Now of course I know many. I know some homeschooled kids that a weird for sure.. but you know what?? I know some schooled kids that are weird too, lol. Hey I am weird and I was schooled for at least 12 years. Seriously I went to school and I am very shy and a little socially stunted. Why do we blame schooling or homeschooling for the outcome of our children. Are they not born with a personality of their own? Do we as parents not take responsibility for our children and how they turn out? If I send my kids to school and they get wonderful grades and are really smart do I thank the school for doing such a great job? If I send my child to school and he fails everything and get into trouble do I blame the school for that?? What if I homeschool my kid and he becomes a lawyer or a doctor do I give myself a big pat on the back? Or what if I homeschool my kid and he ends up in jail? Is that my fault? Is he in jail solely because I homeschooled him? Had I sent him to school would he be a better person?
The fact is some kids are gonna go to school and do really well and some are going to be average and some are going fail. And same goes for homeschooling. Some homeschooled kids are going to do amazing, go off to college and get some big wig job and be "successful". And some are going to be average and some are going to do poorly. My Jayden is one smart kid. Intellectually speaking he is reading at a grade 4 level ( he is only 7). His math is better then mine ( I am not joking here). And because in this society we value those intellectual traits, then I am rewarded as a mother for raising him. I am given a big fat star as a wonderful homeschooling mom. My oldest son Ryan is behind his grade level for reading. In fact he is behind in most everything. But Ryan is years ahead of his peers emotionally. His empathy blows me away. But we do not value this trait as much as the intellectual traits so I am failing him as a mother, a homeschooling mother. Hey if he was in school then we could blame it on them right?
We all make the best decisions we can for our families and what works best for each of us. And those choices are going to turn out the way they turn out and we are going to deal with life the best we can... ok rant over now.
xo Sebrina
14 comments:
Here, here, Seb!! I agree with you wholeheartedly.
Thank goodness for people like you...I have to tell you how surprised I am about the passion of the naysayers...I am so glad that you give balance to the debate.
-donna
Excellent post Seb. As you know I am 100% behind the decisions you make as a homeschooling mother of four%. This post provided even more thought provoking ideas to chew on.
Great. Love Mom xo
Hmm... along with the rant you also gave some great food for thought. I too was painfully shy and didn't find my voice until very late high school, when I finally burst out in the most destructive way. I think most teachers (and I say most not all for a reason) are not very good at fostering the abilities of a diverse group of students beyond the assigned practicum. I always felt ridiculed for my shyness and forced to do things not within my nature. If I had to give a speech in class I would not sleep for days and have the most horrible head aches or stomach aches. But I always did the work (and got my C- for so-called lack of effort) and then was left feeling so chewed up and spit out that all my other classes would suffer! Anyways- totally rambling- but just a view point.... what if we took into account the things that can't be measured by regular schooling- like over coming shyness? By college- I could have aced that class ;) I would go back to college today and take self-confidence building 101 if it was offered....
I totally agree with you. My cousin is homeschooling her kids and they are so sweet and outgoing. I think as homeschooling becomes a little more mainstream, the stigma will lessen.
This topic always intrigues me because I think I represent a side to this that is a little different. I hope its okay if I add my .02!
In school, I was always the 'different' one and barely scraped by grade-wise in every subject other than Arts and English. I hated everything academic and everything I was told I had to do well in if I wanted to succeed in life. I was sensitive and things like bullies, tests, speeches and gym class all made me sick which made me cut classes (and in some cases, do other things that I'm not proud of). I hated school and at the time I'd have given anything to leave. BUT, as truly hellish as this was for me, I would not trade my experience for the world. Teachers were unfair, nobody understood my learning style, I struggled on a daily basis and my personality was definitely not suited to the institutional learning environment. BUT being forced to overcome things like public speaking and learning to stand up for myself are things that have made me a confident adult. That's why *I* am on the fence about homeschooling. Because as a prime candidate for an alternative learning style, I feel like mainstream education was one of the best things that has ever happened to me in the long term.
Having said that, I also believe in 'to each his own' when it comes to this kind of thing. I can totally respect people's decision to home school if its for the right reasons. I think there are people that do it because of their own unresolved issues or because of bad experiences they've had as children. I don't agree with that. But hey, if someone wants to home school and it works for your family, I say more power to ya! :-)
As always....very well said. I agree with you 100%.
So true Sebrina! I totally agree and this rant of yours felt very good to read!!
By the way, happy birthday.
happy birthday and happy teaching
every family has to make the choice for educating their kids...I am just so glad we have a choice right?!
blessings,
ELK
Thanks for all your comments everyone :) I'm so happy to see that we can all respect each others decisions and know that we as parents are making the best choice for our children!
This is a timely post...yesterday I was reading the memoirs of a woman who was raised in the middle of nowhere, in Zimbabwe. She was writing about the grief her mother got, from her parents, over homeschooling her and her two siblings. Her Grand-parents were concerned the kids weren't "socializing" enough. It made me think of you when I read it :)
Could there be a better education - basically homesteading (in a cow shed) in Zimbabwe where your father is the "flying doctor" flying himself around the country to visit patients, often taking the kids with him? And people are still concerned about the kids missing out by being homeschooled!
Sebrina-great respect to you for always so eloquently sharing your aopinion. Even your rants are great. It is so true. We as a society want to blame when we can and take the praise when it's good. How about being responsible persons raisng the next generation of responsibles persons REGARDLESS of education? UUUm, I know several people who are AWESOME examples of lovley adults who had very poor schooling. Man, Sebrina-you preach it girl and keep encouraging those brave enough in this critical world to seek other ways to teach their children.
LOVE this topic. When asked if we are worried about socilization I love to respond with an enthusiastic YES!!!! And that is exactly WHY we choose to home school (among other reasons, of course) I am concerned about peer orientation. I am concerned about the level of violence and abuse by peers AND teachers. I am concerned about the very unreal social structure in which children of one age are segregated together and expected to somehow thrive. where else in society does this occur?? how exactly does this prepare our children for the "real world" or make them well socialized?
When I see a group of 30 homeschoolers putting on a play, ranging in age from 2 to 18, and I see them helping eachother, learning from one another, being given the opportunity to be the peer, the example and the student, I see a far more well "socialized" group of children.
Don't you find it bizarre what our western culture considers to be well socialized? Frankly, it scares me!
great post Sebrina!
Wonderful post! We homeschool too, and I feel the same way.
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